Pursuing ones dreams is a daunting task. Sometimes I think to myself that this may go nowhere.
That I am going to this effort of writing this blog, writing my manuscript and pushing myself to make it in a field that many fail every day to break into.
Sometimes I think that what I have to say means nothing to no one. That my writing is awful. That my dream of becoming a writer is hopeless and will ultimately bear no fruit.
These types of things cross my mind all the time. They squeezed into my brain while I typed my first post. They force their way to the front when I am working on my novel and cause me to pause in my writing. Lose focus and want to quit.
But then, like the first star on a cloudless night. Something breaks the darkness that creeps its way into my thoughts and shakes its hold on me.
This came in the form of a comment on my last post. A commenter wrote this:
“…I have actually had this same dream since I was 13… You’ve inspired me through this blog to begin again. Thank you.”
Suddenly, the grip of self-doubt and fear vanish.
Gone are the thoughts that I am not good enough or that anything I write will fall dead. All from a comment and a very significant sentence:
“You’ve inspired me through this blog to begin again”
Do I want to become a writer? Of course I do. It is what I have always wanted.
What do I want to achieve with this blog? Exactly that sentence.
Who knows what will happen in the future. With my writing. With my blog. With my career.
But if I can inspire some of you on the way, that is achievement to me. That inspires me to continue. To push hard to achieve this goal.
I want others to feel like I do. That a contemporary job is not the only way to succeed. That living ones dreams is not just for the fortunate or the lucky ones. That if you work hard, these things can happen for you. Whatever they may be, they are attainable.
These self-defeating thoughts will continue to plague me. Of that, I am sure. But it’s the support of those around me that lift me back up.
It is the smile that my wife gives me when she sees that I am writing. The thought that someday, I will look up from working and not see a blue cubicle wall, but the sight of my son and daughter playing. The comment of gratitude from a reader for inspiring them.
That is my inspiration.